Everyone has a different fence. My fence is
blocked, surrounding and isolating me from everyone else around. Recently, I've
been more drifted from everyone else, such as my friends and my own mom. I've
been feeling more distance between our relationships. It’s not that I lost
trust for those around me, but more of me not being able to feel comfortable
sharing. I feel like if I tell one person something, everyone else will
eventually know about it. There aren't many people that I can fully depend on
anymore. I've lost the ability to open up, telling my close ones about my own
personal problems, because I feel as if they don't need to know any of my
business. In many ways, bubbling myself from everyone else is an easier way to
prevent all the drama that can happen, as if there hasn’t been enough drama. I've
seen many people hurt and betray each other, therefore it's pretty difficult
for me to trust anyone around me. People tell everyone else from what they
hear, causing stupid and pointless drama around. I see close friends turning to
two people living their own individual lives, as if they didn’t know each other.
Then, there’s my mom. I can’t even remember the
last time we’ve had a legitimate conversation without any yelling and screaming
towards each other. Growing up, we’d always be close. All there ever was back
then were laughters and happiness. But now, we’re just two people living under
the same roof, with constant arguments and frustration. Everytime we do talk,
it’ll be about something negative. Even if I did try to open up, everything I say
to her would just turn into a lecture. We don’t get along, we never do. It’s
impossible to go a day without a tiny argument. All she ever do is work her way
into my life, by being nosey and being all up in my buisness. She’s constantly
bugging me about something I could care less about.
I love my friends and my mom, and I know they’ll
always be there for me, but getting out of the fence is currently hard. I wish
I was better at opening up rather than just bottling everything up and explode
one day.
